Tantrums

Sometimes i think i am the only adult on the planet that had little mini tantrums! i swear i throw things and curse and just wanna stomp my foot cross my arms and sit down and say "humpf!" seriously though i have been super agitated lately and the only medicine is my iphone or zoey. other than that im like glaring at people and subconciously wishing they would fall on their butts!

on another note! i am ready for election day! i have reviewed the ballot and am ready to make my vote count! considering how oldschool my grams is she actually voted for Barak! sometimes she uses the N word but apparently she doesnt really mean it! Anywho im going shopping for a halloween costume tommorrow! wish me luck!

hasta

There is hope....

Today i saw on Comcast.net where the fattest man on earth got married! Yes ma'am in Montery Mexico they wheeled this giant asshole out on his bed (noteworthy his bed was all decked to the nine's) and took his ass on the flat bed of an eighteen wheeler to the church. Now if this man bags himself a chick then i think there is hope for the rest of the world........I think thats pretty neat though all joking aside. People went all out to see this dude get married. people are pretty neat and i think sometimes we dont give humanity the credit it deserves. and that is ALL the optimisum i can muster up for this dreary Monday morning. Peace

Another year and one for the books!

As all of my friends have noted, I have just had another birthday. Let me tell ya, 27 was a good one! What a wonderful feeling to have all of your closest friends under one roof just celebrating your life for another year. Its an incredible feeling! The night started off pretty mellow, my parents suprised me with roses and bought me a beer. After hours of remaining stationary at my table I finally moved and decided (under cohersion i think) to go play DDR. Anyone who has seen Grandma's Boy knows what DDR is! I have played that game all of once in my 27 years of life and being drunk didnt help me brush up on my skills! In fact i couldnt figure the damn thing out! From there we decided to hit the fooseball table. It took all of the time it takes to get bucked off an angry bull (8 seconds) for me to get anally penetrated and get the worst ass whooping of my life (FYI i still have my butt virginity it was a joke). I think i was a little bit sad about my loss or just embarrased that im such a horrible bar athelete so i decided to hang up my fooseball pants and try something different. Three of us got onto this snow mobile game and decided to give that a try. Thank heaven it was only a game because we all would have perished under my awful driving skills. So 15 shots down i decided to dance a little. Well stumble and get man handled. Thats about all i remember but according to the accounts of those wh were sober i was being pretty funny! Overall, my birthday was a success. I lasted until closing and only lost about an hour of my life to the blackout!

Until next time...........Drink on!

Colorado Springs Gay Parade

This past weekend we had the pleasure of attending Pride fest in Colorado Springs! I must say that although there were some glitches in our plan, we had lots of fun! So i suppose ill give you a little run down of the events that occured that day. To start the day off i was exactly on time. I mean to the minute i was there at 8:30. So we began our journey to get to the park by 10:00 with several minutes to spare we made it to the Springs. However my car decided to die right as im pulling into my hard to find parking spot! Wow well i guess thats a good sign! i said Fuck it and went to the park. So apparently Springs homos are sleepers. there was hardly anyone there. Jo and i decided to walk around and she got a "free massage" the creep rubbing her neck told her all kinds of odd things. Most notably though that she needed and orthopedical exam. Really Mr. PT i work for a chiropractor. and "Orthopedical" exam? what kind of idiot is this guy to not understand the jargon of his own. Now i googled ortopedical and its not a word so im not being super harsh! he said some other funny things but that was the funniest! After that it was a pretty fun day! Jo and i attended some queer church service in the park and Jo decided to do the cha cha to their music! it was mildly embarrasing! the funniest part of the entire day had to have been the zombies! Now Joelle has this weird phobia of zombies and it just so happened there were several people at pride dressed as the undead! the look of terror on her face and her valiant efforts at avoidance were classic! I wish everyone coulda seen it! after the gay weddings we decided to head out! Car started ok and three blocks down the road died! i managed to pull it into a shady spot and call for reinforcments! apparently my 2000 truck is out of warranty....weird right? but after Jo talked to her 11 year old sister realized she had AAA. we were towed home for free and i got it fixed the next day! whew what a day! overall it was pretty fun! just a word of caution....fiber is not sexy

Not it!!!!!

Am I the only person that plays this game still? Sometimes i feel like i am! Is it weird that this 27 year old will get out of extra work duties by yelling "NOT IT" oh well! I suppose its something valuable i learned in my childhood to get out of doing things or to unclaim the latest fart that had been cast out amoung my friends! Whatever it is im glad i learned it! Some interesting words for your week:

Weeper: a cry baby!
Chode: A small penis (funnier to call someone that though)
Trolla: half troll half chola
Mong: short for mongrol-means an ugly or mutt dog

I love my dumb friends for coming up with such fantastic new ways of insulting people! cheers to you, you drunk lesbians!

Incentives for HIV

I thought it was rather funny that the LV brothels were offereing incentives for truckers and customers to come utilize their services. Yes ma'am youve got it! GAS CARDS!!!! i think i can die happy now!

http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-finance/20080630/Brothels.Fuel.Prices/

Too much Tequila!

Soooo as many of you might already know Tila Tequila got the cold shoulder last night! I kind of felt bad for her but i laughed at her too! There she was this little Asian "bisexual" holding that key waiting for her blonde bombshell to accept it. Then the bombshell dropped the bomb! Tila cried (weird....) and it ended as tearful as it had begun! "you humiliated me" well in Blondies defense....she warned you!!!! Well she tried.....maybe bisexuals dont understand their own kind and maybe that gave her a green light instead of sharing her actual thoughts. anywho i hope they dont make a tila 3 because the show is garbage and i cant help but watch it! until the next reality diva dies..............party on

Random observations

Today i must have been in weirdo land! first of all i saw this sign in the bathroom that encouraged people to wash their hands. ARE THERE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DONT? sober people anyway? wow it seems so duhhh to me. Second, my neighbor was watering his cactus today. isnt that the joy of owning a cactus in this desert i live in? you dont have to water it!??? Mexicans! I think there was something else that was funny too but i forgot! i need to keep a sharpie and write these things on my arm. speaking of weird....my sister had this snake thing and you have to feed it frozen mice. on the package it said "not for human consumption!" now some fucking idiot had to have eaten one for them to need to put this disclaimer on there! people amaze me......then again im not suprised

Pride observations

I havent written since i went to Pride so i thought i would jot down a few thoughts from the festivities. I think going with a huge group of drunk lesbians is a bad idea. it kinda went a little like this...walk walk walk....wait i need tickets for a beer....wait......hey wheres jackie? ...walk walk walk....wait i need a beer! and the saga unfolds! it was possibly the most annoying day of my life. it was smoldering hot and being on the blacktop made it 100 times worse. i drank 108oz of water while i was there. my feet were hurting and i decided to camp out on the corner while my sister went for the car. well 20 mintues after my camp out began im thinking "where the hell is she?" here she comes around the corner. you guessed it? she couldnt find her car. with my simple directions of two blocks over one block up she was back for me in no time at all!!!! while i was at pride i had some thoughts and some observations!
1. Whats the lesbian blue tooth all about? I think that little plastic in my ear in the 100 degree weather would totally drive me nuts! it just looks funny! i suppose i relate it to flannel and fanny packs! just seems like a faux pas
2. the drag queen on stilts. this was my second anual denver pride. the same crazy drag queen up on those stilts. p.s. pride drag queens shave your pits sister!
3. big crowd of lesbos in 100 degree heat is a badddd idea! just so you all know for next year lol

happy pride homo's

Waiting to go home

Here i sit again wanting to do absolutley nothing! I only have about 18 minutes before i get to go home! thankfully the Ninja Quiera is taking my ass home! I think i may have made some progress on finding myself a car! I gotta get some dough together and then i think ill be set! (only 17 minutes left). I think the lesson learned in all of this car drama is two fold. A. always put gas in your car and maintain it reguarly. B. Never talk shit about some chola who drives a Tracker! at least that bitch has a car! so whatever weird Karma i have from talking shit im fucking sorry! i shoulda never made fun of her stupid car! I made fun of her hair too, maybe mine will all fall out! lol id be an ugly bald chola (16 minutes). Alright i really have nothing to say right now. This is Josa signing off.....(15 minutes)

Haynes their way...

So, yesterday i needed to make a walmart run. I needed some new panties, socks, and a bra! Walmart seemed to be the most convienient place to get my shit and my sister said she would take me rather than have me walk all that way. So i buy my little five dollar chola panties and whatever else i managed to spend 75.00 on along the way. I get home and attempt to put the newly acquired undergarmets in my drawer, when much to my dismay they were all individually wrapped with little pieces of cardboard in them. they were also scotch taped! Now riddle me this mr riddler.....who the fuck would try to steal a single pair of panties. Do they really need to be all pretty in the wrapper. The need for this wrapping completly blows my mind and it took me all of 15 minutes to get each individually wrapped pantie out of the damn package! thats 15 minutes of my life i could have spend doing something much more interesting like...........watching TV!

The Friend You Want To Be

The ever wise Coey sent this my way! Its interesting because i suppose it just kinda makes you think a little bit about who is in your life and why? I dont think im in a position to evaluate my friendships right now, but ill keep this anyway:


The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.
We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example.
This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.
An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

The ever cunning Troll-a

Has anyone seen my Troll-A? You know?....... Shes small, one part troll, one part chola. Ill be looking for her in her baby phat tee tonight at the b street bash! i know where you hide trolla

Real Life Fun Haver!

So, as an introduction to the blogging world i suppose i should write a little bit of nonsense. I am totally bored out of my skull right now. Im ready to fall asleep or barf! Havent decided which one. I totally feel like a real live slacker at this moment in time because i have been staring at this screen for several hours expecting it to file something or write a report by itself. Its funny because here i sit writing this blog about nothing at all.......all my paperwork goes to waste! Such a sad little day at the office RIP paperwork. really i dont think it ever dies. probably multiplies by feeding it after midnight. whatever im gonna sit here and wait my ass for my apple cherry slush from Sonic....or wait SonicS because she went to the East Side one. Schaweeeet